I am not a bridezilla. I want to make that perfectly clear. So far, I haven’t let wedding planning become a big deal. I don’t care about centerpieces; I don’t care about flowers; I don’t care about chairs. There was a little drama when I bought my wedding dress in November, but it had nothing to do with the dress itself. (It’s a long story, but my mom freaked out that I bought a dress without her being there. Even though she lives 1000 miles away, and had no plans to visit in the near future. And even though just the day before, she said she’d be fine with me going ahead and getting a dress, because the dress I wanted was on sale for one day only. And I’m not made of money, so there was no way I was getting that dress unless it was on sale.)
The only things I care about are having awesome photographers (which we do) and that the food is fantastic (which it will be) and that everyone dances their asses off (which they will, because I have a wonderful friend DJing for us.) Oh, and that all my friends and family are there to celebrate. That’s the most important part. Just having everyone in the same room on such a special day, ready to throw down with us… I can’t ask for anything else. I don’t have expectations that this will be the “happiest day of my life.” (God, I hope it’s not, otherwise… what’s the point?) I just want to throw a fun party, and it doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be JOYFUL.
So, with that said, I am having a majorly huge wedding-related crisis that is making me want to cry and pull my hair out and yell and scream and throw a temper tantrum like a two year old. Most likely my best friend in the universe, the person who has been my partner in crime since 11th grade, the person who is the closest I will ever come to having a sister, my maid of honor… will probably not be coming to the wedding. She has decided to go to grad school, and she has to take the chemistry GRE before she can apply. And guess what is the only day she can take this test before the grad school application deadline? October 9th. My wedding day.
I mean… what can I say? Obviously her education is way more important than my wedding. I can’t ask her to blow this off for me; I would never dream of it. And I know she’s just as upset as I am. Right now I’m trying to figure out a way for her to take the test up here (she still lives down South) on the morning of the wedding. It’s not ideal, but at least she’s still here. I’m not mad at her. I’m just mad at the universe for doing this to me/us. I originally had two maids of honor, and now I most likely have zero maids of honor. (What happened with the other one is a long, very sad story for another time. I am not ready to talk about it. She’s not dead or anything horrific like that, but still… sad stuff.)
Going to grad school has been a dream of hers for a long time, and she has the means to do it, and she shouldn’t compromise that for my wedding. But it doesn’t make me any less upset. I think I’m allowed to be kind of devastated. I mean, after The BFG, she’s the second most important person to me in the world. I can’t even begin to imagine not having her at my wedding. So… I don’t know. There’s not much to say. She has to do what she has to do, and as always, I will support her no matter what, because she’s my BFF and I love her, and I want her to follow her dreams. But make no mistake, I am completely and utterly devastated. And I know that sounds ridiculously dramatic, but oh well.