…Or my friend at least. I have always been a bit of a hypochondriac. It probably stems from my mom, who took us to the doctor whenever we sneezed as children. I’m certainly not insulting my mother… obviously she loved us, or she wouldn’t have bothered. I’m just saying… that’s probably where my hypochondria tendencies come from.
I’m terrified of doctors, and although I go to my normal, yearly check ups and whatnot, I don’t like it. And I’m always sure there’s something terribly wrong with me. And of course, I’m always fine. I recently had to go to the hospital because I was having a weird, persistent pain in my abdomen. My regular doctor wouldn’t see me on short notice, and advised I go to the ER because it sounded like it could be appendicitis. I reluctantly agreed to go on the prodding of The BFG and The BFG’s mother, who is a nurse.
The ER doctor did a routine ultrasound, made a weird face, left the room for a second to check on something, and returned to find me crying hysterically. I was convinced she’d seen a tumor on the ultrasound and that I was going to die. “No, no, no,” she assured me, realizing she was dealing with a mental case. “I just don’t have a clear picture of what could be going on in your abdomen on the ultrasound, so I left to see if I could fit you in soon for a CT Scan. I didn’t find a tumor. I don’t think you have a tumor.” Oh. Whew.
It wasn’t appendicitis. It was a pulled muscle. Because of the ab exercises I just started doing so I can fit into my stupid wedding dress. Yeah. I know.
Aaaaanyway. Now I’m having an eye issue. I don’t want to go into detail about my eye issue, but one night I couldn’t stop thinking about it so I got out of bed and decided to check on Web MD. I do this a lot. It’s a problem. Good ole Web MD. Everything is either nothing… or CANCER. And this was no different. My eye issue is either completely normal, no big deal OR it’s a possible brain tumor.
So now I can’t stop thinking about it. And I can’t go to the opthamologist until May 1st, because that’s when our new insurance goes into effect. Do I have any other symptoms of a brain tumor? Nope. And to be honest I’ve had this eye issue since October, but it wasn’t really bothering me, so I kind of put it off a little, especially since I had just gone to the opthamologist in September. And logically, I’m pretty sure this eye issue stems from the fact that I just started wearing contacts for the first time in September. When I went to the hospital last month for the pulled muscle incident, they did a full blood work up and found me to be a completely normal, healthy human. And I’d like to think that if I had a brain tumor… something would have been amiss in my bloodwork, right? RIGHT?
And I am just so mad at myself for causing myself all this undue stress. I am going to the doctor the day our new insurance goes into effect, which was my plan before I ever looked this eye issue up anyway. But now because I just had to check on Web MD, I am going to be stressed out for the next three weeks.
I am an idiot. I do this to myself ALL THE TIME. And I seriously have to stop. I need to block Web MD from my computer, and I need Google to block me from searching any medical terms. But I don’t think that’s possible.