Monthly Archives: May 2010

I Can’t Think of a Title

I am not a bridezilla.  I want to make that perfectly clear.  So far, I haven’t let wedding planning become a big deal.  I don’t care about centerpieces; I don’t care about flowers; I don’t care about chairs.  There was a little drama when I bought my wedding dress in November, but it had nothing to do with the dress itself.  (It’s a long story, but my mom freaked out that I bought a dress without her being there.  Even though she lives 1000 miles away, and had no plans to visit in the near future.  And even though just the day before, she said she’d be fine with me going ahead and getting a dress, because the dress I wanted was on sale for one day only.  And I’m not made of money, so there was no way I was getting that dress unless it was on sale.)

The only things I care about are having awesome photographers (which we do) and that the food is fantastic (which it will be) and that everyone dances their asses off (which they will, because I have a wonderful friend DJing for us.)  Oh, and that all my friends and family are there to celebrate.  That’s the most important part.  Just having everyone in the same room on such a special day, ready to throw down with us… I can’t ask for anything else.  I don’t have expectations that this will be the “happiest day of my life.”  (God, I hope it’s not, otherwise… what’s the point?)  I just want to throw a fun party, and it doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be JOYFUL.

So, with that said, I am having a majorly huge wedding-related crisis that is making me want to cry and pull my hair out and yell and scream and throw a temper tantrum like a two year old.  Most likely my best friend in the universe, the person who has been my partner in crime since 11th grade, the person who is the closest I will ever come to having a sister, my maid of honor… will probably not be coming to the wedding.  She has decided to go to grad school, and she has to take the chemistry GRE before she can apply.  And guess what is the only day she can take this test before the grad school application deadline?  October 9th.  My wedding day.

I mean… what can I say?  Obviously her education is way more important than my wedding.  I can’t ask her to blow this off for me; I would never dream of it.  And I know she’s just as upset as I am.  Right now I’m trying to figure out a way for her to take the test up here (she still lives down South) on the morning of the wedding.  It’s not ideal, but at least she’s still here.  I’m not mad at her.  I’m just mad at the universe for doing this to me/us.  I originally had two maids of honor, and now I most likely have zero maids of honor.  (What happened with the other one is a long, very sad story for another time.  I am not ready to talk about it.  She’s not dead or anything horrific like that, but still… sad stuff.)

Going to grad school has been a dream of hers for a long time, and she has the means to do it, and she shouldn’t compromise that for my wedding.  But it doesn’t make me any less upset.  I think I’m allowed to be kind of devastated.  I mean, after The BFG, she’s the second most important person to me in the world.  I can’t even begin to imagine not having her at my wedding.  So… I don’t know.  There’s not much to say.  She has to do what she has to do, and as always, I will support her no matter what, because she’s my BFF and I love her, and I want her to follow her dreams.  But make no mistake, I am completely and utterly devastated.  And I know that sounds ridiculously dramatic, but oh well.


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The Life List: #18 – Become Healthier & More Fit

I was thinking about this goal on my Life List.  It’s so vague.  What qualifies as becoming healthier and fitter?  Losing weight, maybe, eating right, exercising.  All the obvious things.  But I pretty much do those already.  The BFG and I love to cook, and we cook very healthy meals (aside from the occasional summertime favorite of cheeseburgers on the grill and tater tots – mmmmm).  I don’t work out everyday, but I do MOVE everyday; and if I don’t fit in workouts, I will do things like walking to my destination instead of taking the subway.  And although I’d like to drop a couple pounds before the wedding… I’m actually pretty happy with my weight and at a healthy weight for my height.

So I think I need to create goals within this goal in order to say it’s accomplished.  Although I think this is something I have to maintain my whole life, I want to figure out a way to say – hey, look, I did it.  So here is what I feel like I need to do in order to cross this one off.

  1. Ok.  This is hard to admit.  (Yay for anonymity!)  I am/was a smoker.  I say am/was because I haven’t smoked in fourteen days.  But this is the hard part.  I’ve quit before, but it’s the third week where it starts to get tough, and I usually cave.  So – obviously – step one of this whole health thing is to QUIT SMOKING FOR GOOD!  If I can make it two months, I think I will have done it.  I’ve never made it longer than three weeks.  So wish me luck.  If I can get through the next seven days or so, I think I’ll be home free.
  2. I am very happy with my legs.  Living in New York does wonders for your legs and ass, because you walk everywhere.  Even if you take the subway, that’s at least two (usually more) sets of stairs you’re climbing.  But I hate my arms.  They’re not ginormous, but I feel very self-conscious about them.  So I want to tone the crap out of my arms.  I’m not saying I need Michelle Obama arms – although that would be great – but I do want some visible definition.
  3. I want to be able to run a mile without stopping.  (Which is also another Life List goal – #51.)
  4. Get into the habit of taking my vitamins EVERY DAY.  I am pretty sporadic about taking my vitamins, so I want to make it a habit.
  5. Eat breakfast everyday.  Again, also something I’m pretty bad at.  Partly – I just don’t like breakfast food.  But also eating as soon as I get up makes me feel icky.  But breakfast gets your metabolism going, and that’s an important part of being an overall healthy person, so it’s a habit I need to get into.

These are things I want to accomplish and MAINTAIN, and then I’ll consider myself a “healthier/fit” person, and will cross this one off.  (But I will say, if I get back into a bad pattern one day down the road, this one could become uncrossed, and I’ll have to start work again to cross it off once more.)

What makes you feel healthy?

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