Tag Archives: me me me

Hurrah! – Updates

My hair is a nice normal color once again!  I mean, it’s not perfect, but it’s fine for now and my engagement photos won’t look ridiculous.  I will never attempt to lighten my own hair again.  Ever.  I really learned my lesson this time.  No, really.

Also – I forgot to mention – the doorman strike didn’t happen, so that was wonderful.

BUT I did already renege on the whole no shopping for three months thing.  I felt terrible, but I found the perfect dress for our rehearsal dinner and it was ON SALE.  So oh well.  I’m thinking the no shopping thing might be something I have to do after the wedding.  I don’t know if it’s honestly possible right this second.

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I Am a Giant Idiot

I did something stupid.  I mean… beyond stupid.  I do a lot of stupid things, but this is probably the most stupid thing I’ve done in years.  (Maybe.  But I don’t feel like reminiscing, and trying to remember the last time I did something stupid.)  Ok… here it is:  I tried to dye my dark brown hair blonde.  By myself.  At home.  Yeah.

Here’s the thing… back before I moved to New York, I worked in a salon for about five years.  I wasn’t a stylist; I was a bookkeeper/office manager, but I did pick up a few things along the way.  I learned how to cut hair pretty well, actually.  I cut my own hair all the time, and The BFG’s, and I’ve never messed it up.  And I understand the principles of dying/highlighting hair, and have done my own since I moved to New York.  But I’ve never attempted to bleach and tone my hair all over.  A few highlights are one thing – or coloring my hair brown… but bleaching is a whole different animal.  And – frankly – I got cocky and thought I could do it, no problem.  This was a mistake.

I’ve only tried to do this one other time.  When I was in 11th grade.  I dyed my hair dark red, and about six months later, I decided I wanted to be a blonde.  I did not realize at the time that going from red to white blonde is not something you should ever do at home.  Actually, it’s probably something you should never do at all.  Anyway… I messed it up horribly and ended up with chickadee yellow/orange hair.  It was beyond bad.  So bad that my mom let me skip school the next day and took me to a salon to have it fixed.  I learned a valuable lesson that day.  Or so I thought.

Although I had red hair for years, I went back to a dark brown – similar to my natural color – about two years ago.  And I’m pretty sure whatever underlying red there was has since been cut out.  So I wasn’t really concerned about any red that might be in my hair.  And I have been blonde before.  When The BFG and I started dating I had white blonde hair.  So I knew my hair could get to that color.  I figured I’d have to bleach it once or twice and then tone it, and I’d be good to go.

WRONG.

I guess I have a naturally red pigment in my hair somewhere.  Because even once I toned it, it was still pretty yellowish.  Not even remotely as bad as when I attempted this in high school, but still… not great.  And unnatural.  I think if I bleached it once more I could get there, but I’m afraid of turning my hair to mush at this point.  I’m getting married in five and a half months, and I’d like to have long hair for the wedding.  I know one more bleaching would probably do enough damage that I’d have to cut it pretty short.

So I thought about it; tried to think of a way to salvage it; called a hair stylist friend who immediately admonished me and advised I seek professional help immediately; and ultimately decided that blonde was not the way to go at this juncture.  I decided to go red again.  I realize that by going red again, I definitely won’t be able to go blonde in the next few years, probably, but that’s fine.  I just wanted my hair to be a normal, human color.

Well… here’s where things get even more ridiculous.  I went out for red dye at 9pm last night… I don’t know what my urgency was.  I was tired, and not really thinking, and just wanted normal hair again; bought the dye, came home, and applied it.  But I forgot something.  You can’t just bleach your hair, decide you don’t like it, and then cover it up again.  Bleached hair is very porous, so you need to fill it first, and then color it.  Obviously, I didn’t fill it in my tired state.

So now my hair is… dark pinkish reddish.  It’s worse than when it was just yellow.  Way worse.  I would have loved this color when I was twenty.  I was always doing crazy things to my hair back then, I would have absolutely killed for it to be this color.  But not now.  I am not nearly cool enough or punk rock enough (or punk rock at all) to pull this off.  So I’m giving my hair a rest for a few days (oh, and not leaving the house for a few days) and then putting brown on top of the red.  I’m thinking the red will be an okay filler.  We’ll see.  If that doesn’t work… I’ll go to a salon and have it fixed.  But I’m really embarrassed and would like to avoid that if I can.

Here’s the kicker, though.  Here’s what makes this so bad, and here’s why I want to fix this so urgently.  The BFG and I are having our engagement pictures taken next weekend.  Yes.  Oh yes.  I AM SUCH A MORON!!  I guess I wasn’t thinking.

Sometimes I am very impulsive, and Friday I just decided I wanted to be blonde again and set out to make it happen.  I really should have slept on it… talked to some friends about it… but no.  When I decide to do something or that I want something… I go out and get it/do it.  Sometimes it’s good… like when I decided to start my own business.  I went out and made it happen, and my little business has become quite successful.  But other times… it’s a really bad thing.  Like right now.  Or when I’m shopping.

I’ll let you know how it goes… whether I fix it or all my hair falls out.  Could go either way at this point.  I might be wearing a wig for our photos.  But let’s hope not.

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Web MD is Not Your Friend

…Or my friend at least.  I have always been a bit of a hypochondriac.  It probably stems from my mom, who took us to the doctor whenever we sneezed as children.  I’m certainly not insulting my mother… obviously she loved us, or she wouldn’t have bothered.  I’m just saying… that’s probably where my hypochondria tendencies come from.

I’m terrified of doctors, and although I go to my normal, yearly check ups and whatnot, I don’t like it.  And I’m always sure there’s something terribly wrong with me.  And of course, I’m always fine.  I recently had to go to the hospital because I was having a weird, persistent pain in my abdomen.  My regular doctor wouldn’t see me on short notice, and advised I go to the ER because it sounded like it could be appendicitis.  I reluctantly agreed to go on the prodding of The BFG and The BFG’s mother, who is a nurse.

The ER doctor did a routine ultrasound, made a weird face, left the room for a second to check on something, and returned to find me crying hysterically.  I was convinced she’d seen a tumor on the ultrasound and that I was going to die.  “No, no, no,” she assured me, realizing she was dealing with a mental case.  “I just don’t have a clear picture of what could be going on in your abdomen on the ultrasound, so I left to see if I could fit you in soon for a CT Scan.  I didn’t find a tumor.  I don’t think you have a tumor.”  OhWhew.

It wasn’t appendicitis.  It was a pulled muscle.  Because of the ab exercises I just started doing so I can fit into my stupid wedding dress.  Yeah.  I know.

Aaaaanyway.  Now I’m having an eye issue.  I don’t want to go into detail about my eye issue, but one night I couldn’t stop thinking about it so I got out of bed and decided to check on Web MD.  I do this a lot.  It’s a problem.  Good ole Web MD.  Everything is either nothing… or CANCER.  And this was no different.  My eye issue is either completely normal, no big deal OR it’s a possible brain tumor.

So now I can’t stop thinking about it.  And I can’t go to the opthamologist until May 1st, because that’s when our new insurance goes into effect.  Do I have any other symptoms of a brain tumor?  Nope.  And to be honest I’ve had this eye issue since October, but it wasn’t really bothering me, so I kind of put it off a little, especially since I had just gone to the opthamologist in September.  And logically, I’m pretty sure this eye issue stems from the fact that I just started wearing contacts for the first time in September.  When I went to the hospital last month for the pulled muscle incident, they did a full blood work up and found me to be a completely normal, healthy human.  And I’d like to think that if I had a brain tumor… something would have been amiss in my bloodwork, right?  RIGHT?

And I am just so mad at myself for causing myself all this undue stress.  I am going to the doctor the day our new insurance goes into effect, which was my plan before I ever looked this eye issue up anyway.  But now because I just had to check on Web MD, I am going to be stressed out for the next three weeks.

I am an idiot.  I do this to myself ALL THE TIME.  And I seriously have to stop.  I need to block Web MD from my computer, and I need Google to block me from searching any medical terms.  But I don’t think that’s possible.

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I Have Things to Say, Dammit

Oh my gosh… another freakin’ blog.  Obviously no one is reading this yet, and who knows when/if they will.  I’m just sending messages out into the ether right now.  Helllooooooo out there!

I’m Miss Parker.  I’m from the Southland, but now I live in New York City.  I still say “y’all” even though I’ve been here almost four years.  I hated it at first, but now I love this city more than I ever thought possible.  And aside from wanting to live in California someday for a year, I’ll probably never leave.  I live with my fiance, The Big Friendly Giant (The BFG).  He is six foot six, with a beard and tattoos.  He looks scary, but he’s basically the nicest guy to ever live.  I’m only five feet tall, so he carries me around in his pocket most of the time.  We’re getting married in October.

I love: The BFG (duh), my cats, This American Life, raspberry-vanilla lattes, taking pictures (which is what I do for a living), sweet tea (and there is only one good place to get it in Manhattan), baking, good red wine, prime lenses, being organized, my super amazing friends and family, autumn, vanilla softserve, The Yankees, road trips, and Mad Men.

I don’t love: winter, flying, carrots, wearing my contacts, when people tell me my wedding “has” to be a certain way, spiders, football, doing laundry, white wine, and people who post overly dramatic and/or passive aggressive Facebook updates for attention.

So.  Yeah.  I have some things to say, I think.  And some things to do.  And I’ll write about them here, I guess.  And* maybe if someone comes along, and they want to say hey, that could be cool.

*(I like starting sentences with “and.”  It’s a problem.)

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